


Falling Falling Failing

by DragonLiili



Series: Under Ashen Magic : A Tale [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Aborted Undertale Genocide Run, Angst, Death, Demonic Possession, Depression, Failed Pacifist, Gender-Neutral Frisk, Genocide "Chara", Hurt / little Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Pacifist Frisk, Possession, Selectively Mute Frisk, Suicide, Undertale Neutral Route, personal headcanons used, player as a minor character, prelude to a larger story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-03-23 04:26:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13779669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonLiili/pseuds/DragonLiili
Summary: Frisk didn't know what made them keep climbing. They could of stopped at any time, but a part of them still hoped. That maybe some of the people who disappeared on Mt. Ebbot found something else, something that was worth never leaving.





	1. Falling Down

**Author's Note:**

> TW for Suicide, as the only way for Frisk to reset or load is to die in the game, or to quit. As Frisk can't actually quit the game, or load/reset any other way their version of quiting is often suicide.  
> Also a possible TW for Depression, Frisk is emotionally numb to a lot of things but don't realize this and has a low sense of self-worth. Both of which are signs of depression and Frisk will have some elements of depersonalization and derealization. being able to reset and load doesn't help this, nor does being possessed.

            When Frisk ran away from their foster home to Mt. Ebott this was not what they expected. Frisk expected to fade away into the trees, either to die in a shrub somewhere or to find something on this mountain worth _Living_ for, like maybe the monsters and magicians in the old lore, and well.....they certainly found something, after spending the day exploring, feeling a pull to keep going further up Mount Ebott.

A dark, creepy hole in the ground that they _'accidentally'_ fell down, for so long only to land in a large oh-so-soft patch of yellow flowers that cushioned their fall. They found an adventure here. Frisk might accomplish the second option of their quest by the end of it, they had thought, while they were playing with soft flower petals while still dazed.

 

Once the spots faded from their vision and breathing became easier they started to get up. Should they stay with the flowers, or should they explore the cave.

There was a door way. Frisk studied it for a moment. It looked old but people could still be down here. Maybe Frisk should try to find them.

 

 

* * *

 

Soon they wish they had just stayed put once the meeting with Flowey went downhill fast. They felt a tug that said they should move despite what he said as the pellets flew past but they couldn’t, feet frozen in fear.

…

Frisk was hit. It hurt so much.

They didn’t plan on dying like this.

…

But then a burst of fire out of nowhere came.

And they met a goat wearing a dress and had paws. She spoke kindly and caring, and she healed Frisk too. She was the nicest person Frisk had ever met in that instant.

 

Her name is Toriel.

 

 

* * *

 

 

            They had discovered that they had gained the ability to Reset and Load early on in their adventure in the Ruins. And of course, they could Save too. For some reason they couldn’t go back to before they fell down though.

Frisk need to remember that this isn't like some video game, despite how similar and easy it is. Far too easy to forget that people are real and do awful things they don't deserve. Frisk doesn't know why their first impulse it to swing the stick at the monsters, they don't want to _hurt_ anyone even if they could reset.

 

They discovered the ability to Reset and Load while trying to find Toriel. Without the large goat monster there to scare away the smaller Monsters like Froggits Frisk was quickly killed after a few battles, unused to the idea of getting out of the way of being hit.

 

            Frisk eventually caught on to what they needed to do and how to move their feet when they could hardly think, after so many stricken looks as everything faded to black. It seems that Monsters didn't know that humans didn't dust, and sometimes even with 0 HP they die kinda slowly, even if they broke Frisks soul.

The Monsters seemed pretty upset by that, and the monsters seemed like didn't know how to help even though they wanted too.

 Monster food and healing magic doesn't fix everything it looks like, despite what the monsters thought.

 

 

It was upsetting all around.

So Frisk learned how to move their feet despite that they felt frozen in place, even if the Monsters didn't remember that Frisk died.

 

They didn't deserve to be upset over and over again even if they didn't remember it; because if Frisk could remember it, odds are that they aren’t the only one down here that remembered even after they load or reset.

 

Especially if Frisk could change it so it never happened at all.

 

Frisk learned to dodge, getting better with each time, hopefully they’ll be an expert before they meet someone who wouldn’t forget.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

            Sans scared Frisk silly at first and seemed a little put off that they wouldn't shake his hand; but their left arm hurt something awful and wasn't working and they didn't know how to say it. They think it had something to do with the pain they felt after falling over the branch, trying to get away from the scary noises behind them.

While hiding behind some rocks Sans spoke with his brother and Frisk couldn't find Sans as scary anymore with the puns and jokes he was saying. It wasn't their fault that the puns happened to tickle their _funny bone_! Frisk found themselves holding back giggles because of it. Actual, sound-making, movement in your neck giggles, they hadn't been able to make noise in days!

It made them want to giggle even more, but they can’t Right Now!

 

After Papyrus, Sans brother, left Frisk popped up and threw themselves over the snow covered rocks and giggled to their hearts content. All the while Sans stood by, wide…eyed? and confused but smiling a smile even bigger than before.

            Sans closer to where Frisk flopped over once they had managed to get a hold of themselves, pulling back themself from laughter-induced tears. “hey human, you like my jokes?” Frisk made sure to have a wide smile as they nodded, to make up for the fact that they can't do much more than giggle, let alone talk, at the moment. Giggles were still winding down to be nothing more than huffs of soundless air. “what's wrong? skelly’s got your tongue?”  Frisk scrunched up their face and tried to think of how to explain that they couldn't always talk; certainly _not_ to someone they _just_ met, how could they explain as best as they could with one working hand and no pen and paper?

They settled for pointing at their throat and making a so-so gesture with their hand.

 

            After a moment or two of silence it seemed like Frisk got their point across. “hang on, …your trying to say that you...sometimes can, but not always?” Frisk excitedly nodded and smiled and Sans smile widened back. This is turning into a meaningful conversation. “sounds like selective mutism, you know-” Frisk nodded, the doctors they used to see had said that. “ah, so why don' cha' use signs then, most everyone down here knows 'em? and why are..... hang on now, ya got somethin' red dripping from your arm.” Frisk made a grimace, reminded of the burning pain that they had almost forgot about and held their left arm close without looking at it, as Sans shuffled their way around the rocks almost as fast as he did when making them cross the gate.

Frisk met him half way to make things easier.

            Sans took hold of their injured arm, Frisk flinching despite themself and carefully peeled back their sweater sleeve up to where Frisk held their arm. “oh stars kid,” He was quite for a long moment as he looked, keeping their arm still as he moved his head at different angles around it. “did this happen when you fell over that branch?” Frisk nodded…Wait…it was him chasing Frisk in the forest?  “why didn't cha say- oh… oh-okay bad choice of words there.”  Sans used the ruined sleeve to wipe away the blood from the long gash that Frisk could guess was there from how much it hurt. Frisk peeked a glance at Sans face.

 

Could skeletons go pale?

 

…

 

Frisk decided they couldn’t, but Sans seemed scared and worried. Frisk wished they knew how to reset without dying, they didn’t like Sans wearing that expression and he must really feel bad. He didn’t deserve to feel that awful any more than the monsters in the Ruins did. Frisk’s foster parents had done worse on purpose too, at least this was like the time someone fell from the top of the slide at school when they leaned over the side too far, or when someone fell from the jungle gym when they slipped.

Frisk didn't want to know how bad it was. Their fingers hurt when they moved them without meaning to. They whined as their arm hurt in an awful way as Sans squeezed their sweater sleeve on top of where the pain felt the worst, making them find out it could hurt more than it already did.

 

“okay, yeah. shit.  i need pap's help with this, this is really bad. hang on kiddo, just gotta get us out of here.” Sans Wrapped their other arm around Frisks shoulder and pulled them closer.

 

The air started to feel kind of tingly and then they went from snow, trees and cold to- _shvvoo_ - **Black/No/Nothing** - _pop!_ -to a warm but dark…living room? Would it be called that if they were skeletons? Frisk mused. At least they knew how Sans moved so quick when he was chasing them. If that  was him.

 

“woa…” Frisk hardly noticed the noise they made as they looked at Sans then the room.

 

…That… was so cool!

 

“neat short-cut, huh kiddo?” Sans looked shy as Frisk nodded happily.

 

“okay, let’s get paps here……you got a phone on ya by any chance, bud?  my phone ran out on me” Frisk went to grab the phone Toriel gave them from their pocket.  “I’m still trying to figure out where it got off too.”

…?

 

……!

Frisk realized then snorted, they tried not too but it only made the noise louder and they couldn’t hide the smile.

 

“yea i know right? i can’t wait to use that one on paps.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

            The skeleton brothers didn’t want Frisk to go outside at first, but Sans gave in after Frisk gave a look when all three meals of the day consisted of spaghetti for nearly a week and they lost interest in watching MTT non-stop after the third night.

 

It’s not a lie when they say Papyrus’ cooking is better than what their fosters make, but that’s pretty easy to do, and there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

 

Exploring Snowdin and the surrounding forest was a wonder and probably always would be for Frisk. There was a music that seemed to wrapped around the area and it made it a place to call home, and the Forest had puzzles and secrets too it when they managed to get that far. And the people were nice, if a bit strange in looks at first but Frisk adjusted quickly.

            Frisk tried a couple of times to ask Sans why there was not just a song but many different ones that played where ever they went. He was confused at first. He tried to explain what it was and how magic caused it and didn’t the same happen on the surface? Frisk didn’t know what to say. So now they both are confused.

 

            There were still fights with the other monsters, but that was okay. They made a lot of friends that way, some of them even taught them to talk with their hands a bit when they found out Frisk didn’t talk much at all when Frisk won, and that Frisk didn’t know hand signs. And winning was kind of easy once they figured out how.

All were concerned with the sling they had, Papyrus and Sans weren't able to fix it all the way, but Frisk didn't mind and Frisk made sure they knew that. Broken human bones took months to heal without magic, Frisk told them, and Sans said the sling was only needed till it finished healing. It looked like it was halfway there from what Papyrus said.

 They took the time to explore the snowy town as it healed. Learning about all its residents, how kind they are and how some of them can be jokesters or serious at times, and about the underground. They liked getting burgers and fries at Grillby’s with Sans. Papyrus didn’t like it but relented when Frisk said they like spaghetti, but not as an _every meal every day_ kinda thing toward the second week.

Some people there were sad in an understandable way, but it didn't change how Frisk felt about them, as friends or as at least people they liked. That would be rather insincere considering how Frisk got here. It made Frisk want to stay in Snowdin, where it was safe, if they hadn't already made up in their mind that they had to break the barrier.

 

            Frisk didn't know how they were going to do it…

…but they were Determined to find a way anyway.

 

 

* * *

 

They accidentally fell down getting past the waterfall with rocks; they reset in a panic. Some things went easier that run. They ended up resetting and loading when they thought they did something the wrong way more often after that.

They did some things a little different.

It felt weird, everyone but Frisk not realizing that they lived through the same events.

But some things changed with the resets too…

Flowey was acting differently. And Sans didn’t start scaring them till after the branch.

 

 And there was so many other differences in Sans too, as they reset and loaded more times.

 

 

…

 

 

…

 

 

…

 

They’re stumped at the conveniently-shaped lamp when it suddenly showed up.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

For some reason they found it hard not to attack the other monsters sometimes, but they knew not attacking them was the right thing so they fought it. But the feeling got stronger every so often. Sometimes Frisk feels confused, like their forgetting something, but a tug or a pull in their head has them going to do what they later found out was needed. Frisk thanked their unseen helper when they realized it.

 

 

            Frisk often found speaking or making a sound at all difficult, selective mutism their doctors explained if before, their fosters called it being difficult even after the doctors explained. Speaking was hard sometimes and no matter how hard they tried they couldn’t talk sometimes. But learning to work through the difficulty of let out a giggle not even a second long after as the resets and loads went on, for right when Sans made a joke that tickled their _funny bone_ was worth the honest bright smile on Sans face, time after time.

 

…

 

            Being able to come up with different japes each run to make Sans laugh was a bonus.

 

 

…

 

                        Making Papyrus laugh or confused or angry but happy or a mix of two or all of them was an added bonus.

 

* * *

 

 

            Frisk didn’t know how but they would find a way to the surface.

Maybe even see if Skeleton duo wanted another sibling in their family once they got there?

           

            Frisk wasn’t sure if they could do it alone, like everyone was intent on letting them do it looked like, but that was fine. They could explore as much as they want and go back to Snowdin with an open invitation even if it wasn’t said.

           

            Some things were scary but that was okay because freeing everyone here was worth going through it.

 

            They were Determined to.


	2. Hit Rock Bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Resets go on. Chara starts to gain control. Frisk learns to fight back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the one that the warnings are really for. Take caution.
> 
> Brain decided that it needed another 500+ words before it was done.

            They don’t know when it started. The growing urge to hurt monsters when they battled them horrified them. Frisk made sure that they were careful not to. They were so careful. Frisk doesn’t know what went wrong.

            They had walked the same path so many times it seemed like they almost weren’t there. It wasn’t them walking down the caves, something was pulling them along. Frisk was scared of hurting others the jolt from wanting to fight _to hurt_ was enough to pull them out of the weird haze they were in. _Till it wasn’t_.

            They don’t know what went wrong. All Frisk remembered was walking through waterfall and the next they were coughing and dust was flying everywhere. And they felt stronger but something _~~their soul?~~ _ pounding in their chest. Frisk heaved and tears blurred their eyes and they couldn’t do anything but stare.

 

_What happened?_

Dust was settling but still covered them.

_This doesn’t make sense!_

Frisk never wanted this to happen.

_They didn’t want this! Nonononononono They don’t understand! They don’t understand! This doesn’t make sense! This has to be a dream- no a Nightmare!_

A̶̙̼̮̗̞͓̜̫̹̞̞̘̠̮̿̆̿͛͜͝n̶̩̳̮̥̋͐̐͗̑̈́ḏ̸̯̳̰͉͉̬͔̮̩̂̅͒̌͌͝ ̷̻̈́ͅỵ̴̧̨̡̧͚̝̺̟̘̝͖͇͇̽̃͋́̊͐͗̇̕͝͠ó̵̢̟͕̺̠̈̆̕û̸̥̞̲̱̐̿̈́̈́͆͐͘͜͝'̸̢̧̛̺̤͖̳̯̪͚̩̗̣̞̞̌̋̓̀͆̔̚̚ͅr̸̛̩͓̪̯̥͈͖͎̋͂̀͑̆͗̂̉̈̚͘̕e̷̬̍̔̈͌̄͘ ̴̻̪̩͋̊͗̈́̍n̷̥̣̘̤̪̗̭̦̰̈́̒̈́̄̽̔̿͌̅̃e̶̡̟̩͔͆̃́͆͋͑͘͝v̶̨͍̲̹͂̍͆̿̏̾̕e̸̛̟̻̞͑̽͌̉̈́r̴̝̗͓͈̟̤͚̪̜̙̣̉ͅ ̵͔̻̗͗͗̏̿͒̓́̆̏̉̕͝͝͠ģ̶̙̱͉̗̬̰̪̭͙̹͈̤̺̐̉̾́̔͂̅̏̉̈͑̓͜ó̵̢̢̙̫̻̘̗̞̦̋̊̌̄̂̚͝i̵̧̨̨̜͔̩̠̦̺͈̠͓̘͇̓̊̃̏̐̏͐͘ͅn̶̛̻͙̻̗̝͕̱̬͓̯͕͚̼͇̣̔͆̈́̿̍̃̋͋̂̑̈̆͗g̷͉̫̣̟̙̦͛̔͛̅̿͋̃͗̏͘͠ ̶̼̲̦͖̩̝̗̹̲͕͕̬̉͋̊͋̅̓̾̓̈́͘̕͝͝͝t̸̩̝̺͓̲̳̀͂̋̾̔̽͂͋̈́͠͝ö̸̠̦͍͙́͊͆̓̄̌̉̀̒̆̏͝͠͠͝ ̶͍̱̮̻̜͒͑͒́̿͑͗͒͝w̶̢̢̬̫̼̦̗͖͈̙̦͚͗͜ä̴̜̠̠͕̼̠́̚k̷̢̢̭̯̦͙̩͚̬̼͛̅̂͜͜͝ĕ̵̲͙͉͈͙̐̏͋̆͋͗̆̓̆̆͆ ̷̡̭̱̠̫͉͉̩̩͈̤̙̫͇̇̏̓͐̑̋͝͝ȗ̶̢̨̡̨̟̳͇̟̫̟͚̯̬̣̳̽̓͛̒̄̄͋͊̚̕̕p̵̛̺̤͔̩̤͂̑̄̓̇̊̓̈́͋̏͊̕!̸̨̊͛̊͗

 

A̶͈̙̯̯̙͓̬̓ͅH̴̩̹͓̭͙͐̊̋͒̿̅̑̾͐͠ͅAH̷̵͕̪̩̮̮̠̘̫̠͈͕̫̃̍͆̃͑͆͂͐̌̅̐̽̓͒͌̾̈́͒͘̕͜͝H̸̱̳̱͈̝̰̳̻̯̼̟͒͐A̵̧̹͎̝̬͙̗͕̻̬̱̻͙̋̓̓̎̈́̓̓̀̚̚̚͝H̸̫͇͙͚͚̲͖̪̞̲͎̣̦͕̋̏̆̓͊̋̅̌̇̉̕͜͝A̴̡͇̟̥͕̗̙͇̤͙͔̩̫̱͓̓H̷̛̞̺͈̮͎̺̳̗͛̽͝A̷̻̼̹̱͎̪͘͜H̸̡̧̯̗̞̖̮̻́̑̍̀͛͌̔̋͜Ȁ̴̧̬͙̞̳̺̙̤͓̫̂̊͗̾̿͜͜͝͝H̶̡̢̨͎̞̯̱̹̹̠̰̦̦̙̑͗͌̾̓̋̃͘͘͝A̶̧̛͔͖̞͔͋Ȟ̶̡̛̗͍̭͖̖͍̱̖̌̔̍͜A̷̢͔̘͕͔̦͚̩̞̰͔̟̔Ḩ̵͓̪͙͔̜̂̉̐͛͌͂̃̐̉͒̐̆̚Ȧ̶̠̺̣̤͉͎̘̠̲͕̙̌̓͑͐̓̒͛̈́̈́͂̕ͅĤ̸̢̭̲͎͍̲̟̣̟̪̞̫̺̝̓̓̒͛̏͗̎͘ͅĄ̸̊́́̉̅̓͑͒͋͊̚͝Ḣ̷̬̩̪̜̭͊̓̒̉̇̓͗̕͘͝Ä̵̤́̋́̆͗̈̓̏̍̕̚H̸͓̫͓̞͇̯̆̈́̆͌̆͑͂͆̒Ǎ̷̝̯̖̖͇͎̖͇͎̭͐̂̔͗̐H̸͕͒͒͑̃͗̈̋̈́̐̚͝A̴̺̹̪̒H̵̢̲̝͖͎̻͎̼͚̦̣̭͗̎̏̒͒̾͆̾̈́̊͜ͅÅ̵̮͙͙͌̐̎͐̑͛͌͋̎H̴̨̘̥̱A̸̧̛͇̮͈̬͕͙̤͐̿̀͋̾͂̚͝H̸̡̧̭̥̺̝̲̬̰̺̱͍̺̍͜A̴̜͉͚̦̲͖̩̐H̸͉͚̭͓̟̘̀̌͑̉͊̈́̎͌̆̆̏̉͝Ä̶̢͎͖͚̮̲͉̝̦̤̱̘͖̼̘̿͊͘H̴͓̘̊́̉͋̈̓̉͜͠͠Ạ̵̬͍̰̬̖͙͔̌̒͂̎̈́͘͘͘H̴̨̫̰͕̻͔̮͓̘͎̜̟̹͔͗̂̀Ḁ̷̱̠̭̪͖̫̪̳̯͕̻͓̝͐̅͊̎͠Ȟ̵̢̫̼̯͔̬̄͘Ą̶̢̛͖͖͕̤̫̦̖͙̟̱͒̾͋ͅͅḨ̷̜̯͓͕̼̖̥̩̠̈́̓̓͒͋͠ͅÅ̷̳̐̋̐̋̍͑͐Ĥ̵͎̹̗̘̎͒̈̈̇̋͠A̸̺͐̂͑̽͗̀̃H̸̼̣̰̯̤̞̘͖̘̠̬̝̗̋̅ͅͅĄ̵̭̲͕̙͛͑̈̇͛̾̽͑͌̚͜͝H̴̼̠̦̖̺̻̍̄̀̎̾̑̈̿͆̔͠͝Ą̷̡̛̮̠͔̮̠͔̣͇͚̮̞̉̾̈́̿͒̋̑͆̉H̶̛̝̼͎̲̭̫̼̫̫̼̠̼͎̬͛̀́͂̔̔̈̈̕͝A̸͇̭͕̝̰̦͚͕̜̗̋͌̉͆͛͠Ḥ̴̡̡̪̘̟̦͇̻͙̒̂̈́̍̌́̎̎̚Ǎ̸̝̻̦̟͎̜̙͈̘̠Ḫ̸̨̛̥̤̺͕͍̘̖̩̱̖͔̈́̾͠Ą̵͕̻͉̻͙͍͔̗͍͙̃̎͆̅̓̎̋̄̓̓̆̅̋̇H̸͓̪͎̠̜̻̝͑͂̅̋̈̆̊̍̊̔͋͘͝Ḁ̷͕̙̙̺̤͍̹̬̺̦̿̓͒̅̽͘͝͠ͅḪ̸̨̳̣̟̤̝̺̼̤̑̇̋̑̑̉̋̇̾͌́͊́͝A̴̩̙͉͉̟͗̅̓̋Ḩ̷̧̹̲̟͖̩̦̳̹͎͗̅́͐͛̿̂̒͘͜ͅͅÄ̴̛̯͐̑̐̈́͒̀̕H̴̙͔̤͎̳̺̱̏̈́̎̈́̉A̵͍̩̬̼̫͙̞̗̞͙̜̰̋̿̈̈́̄͗̒̈́̈́̐̾̍͘H̷̡̨͖̮̞͛̈́͠A̸̲̥͔̖͆̍̍̇̒̾͊͗̓H̵̛̜̰̖̻̖͈̫̩̩͕͓͈̍̏͐̆̅Ȧ̵͉̺̮̟̭͇̣̮̦̰̟̙͌̾͗̓̀̇́͆̄ͅH̴̨̢̛̹̖̘̜͙̥͍̹̭̞̝̏̓̎̊̕͜͜͠A̴̧̦͓̬̝͍͍͔͊͒̾͒̈̕͠͠H̴̖̭͎̃̍̾̂͗̔̇͋̈́̀̌̉͛͠Ą̵͖̟̣̹̩̟͓̳͇͈̒̓̍͒̽̄͜͠͠H̷̙̟̻̻̬͉͎̙̗̅͑̽͝ͅA̶̭͔̼̫̗͓͖̙̦͇̜̜͉̓̂̊̈͘͠ͅH̷̞̼̞͙͕͖͍̪̘̳͉̅̈́̽̓͊̾͗͐̑̑͝Ä̸͈̘́̂͊́͋͑͊̏̂͊͊̅͠͝Ḥ̸̡̨̱͈̝̩̬͓͓̻͑̎̔̿̑̇͊̆̈̅̃̒͆̇͜Ä̸̪́͌̿̓̏͘͘H̴̳̑Å̶͕͒͑̍̋͊͝H̸̛̱̮̬͔͎̿̆̄̈͊͂̿͒́͘͠ͅÄ̴̰̅͌̃͑͛̀͌̈́̑̚͜͝͝H̴̢̪̐̂͆͗̈́͂A̸͓̙̱͖̰̍̒͑̓͗̾̆̂͗̀͘̚͠ͅͅḢ̸̲̈́̅͌͋̎̈̓̒͛͐̽̃̑̅A̴̱̪̩̞̙̞͝Ḩ̸̡̨̰̠̖̻̬̞͚́́̽̈͒̈́̇̒̉̐͜͠ͅͅA̸̢͖̖̪͙͓͍͓̹̹͈̳H̵͈̭̃͘̚Ą̶͖͓͖̱̩̒͑͗̒͛̌̚̚͘͝H̸͓̙̊͗͠A̶̧̬̩̙͎̼̬̤̎̉Ḧ̷̢͕̦͓̼̱̟̯͇̘̩̣͚̲̟́͑̾̀̋͛̋̄͌̃͠Ä̶̰͚̻̜̗̙̳̣͐̔͗̂̄̍͌͒̕H̷̗̩͆̈̀̄͋̓̿͌̅̓̈́̚͜͝A̵͕͉͙̣̟̍̆̾͑̈́̑͜H̷̭͎̻͇͖̘̺͓̖̬͉̐̉͗A̶̧̞̪̮̍̍͝ͅH̸̭̹̞̥̣̦̤͚͓̳͊͆̇͠A̴̧̢͚̮̥̗̳̤͖̿̓̿̏̚͘̕͜H̴̢̟̗̫̭̞̠̙̤̬̯̻̖͎̃Ḁ̴̒̓̊̚͜͝H̸̯̪̲͙͉̦̭̄̐͂̚A̸̤͎̲̎̈́ͅH̵̡̡̜͇̞͍͖̟̺̥̞̫̠̓̎̊̈́̐̐̀̍A̵̭̳͇͋H̸̛̞̓̒͑̋̃̂̎̿̂̓̕A̵̧͕̔͋̽͗̉͒̌̇̄̀̎͘͝H̶͓̖͠A̵̧͎̣̖̗͇̗̅̅͐Ḩ̷̧̩̩͖̰̰̘̱̣̼͎̱̽͑̇͊̐̔̓̚͝ͅA̷̡͈̪̺͉̻͙̜̝̅͊̈́H̴̢̡̧̬̭̣̃̑͊̓̓̆͝͝ͅͅA̶̧̡̢͕̣͈̩͔̯̖̙͐̌̂̈́̆͝Ḧ̷̤͑͝A̵̙̙͓̤̞̲̺̹̖̤̗̾̒̉̌͑̃̔̑͗͘̕͝͠Ḩ̶̛̝̖̗̻̜̥̗̩̰̈́̏̂͊̊Ă̶͎̗̈́̈́̀̀̽̄̉̾̚͘͝H̶̡̛͎̬̠̰̘͎̲̼͉̲͆͐̉̆̽͌̇͐̈́̅͗̚̚͜ͅͅͅA̵̛̳̮̫̜͉̣̮͓̼̬̺̣͇͗̿͐̀͝Ḣ̴͚͚̟̥̻̒̊̓͐̊Ą̸̢̡̛̫̦̪͓͉̂̆̄̃̐̐͝H̷͉͖͙̆̎̇̌̈́͆̿̅̉̚͝Â̶̰͉̺̟͔̌̉̈̅̚Ḩ̵̦͕̳͍̻̙̬̦̲̫͖̳̽̊̈́̿͐̽̑̃͠ͅA̴̻̜̹̣̫̘̲̞̬͖̼͖̯̮̼̅̔̐H̸̛̭̆̍͋̓́̇͛̑͗͑̈́̐̕Â̴̺̣͜ͅH̴͎͓̝̟̹̯̣̫̝͍̑͛̅͐̆́̓̎͌͘͠Å̷̡̖̰̝̣̦͚̣̣̜͓̙̦̳̓̾̾̂H̶̡̤̝͖̖̙̱̦̔̇̾̾̾͛̚Ả̷̢̉̃H̷̼͚͕̖̖͔͆̔̈̑̇͊̿̈́̈́͒̈͠Ȧ̵̩͙̬̯͉͍͔͚̝̅͆̍̔̈́̄̒̎̔̚͠H̵̥͕͎̆̆̽̓Ą̴̖̫̹̝̰̝͈̒̄̉̓̽̈́ͅH̸͇̹͔͔̝̦̺́Ǎ̶̦̟̭̬̣̗̻̮̪͓̻̭ͅH̵̰̝͍̱͖̺͍̭̤̭̖̟̤̮́̀̅Ḁ̴͍͈̮͇̮͕̤̳̫̻̿̋̂̑̍͜ͅḪ̴̢̺̦̣̪̹̱̪͓͉̠̭̗̈́̋͑̍̌̏͂̈́́̆A̸̟̤̠͇̺̪̹̼̯͍̱̥̼͚̍̓͌̔ͅH̶̛̲͈̿̿͋͗̏͑͘͠Ȁ̷̭̻̩̄͑̓̈̂̓̉́̆̈́͒͊̌̐Ḫ̵̒̀̑̂͝Ä̴̪̫H̴͎͍͗̇̓̓͐͌̽̅̂̏͑̐̕͠Ä̸̧̡̹̭̲͓̠̮́̀̅̓̑̒̅̽̽̑̔̇̈́͘H̶̡͖̒̆̓͌A̷̖̙͇͎̬̱̜̒̎͗̄̈́̈́H̴̨̛̦͎̖̱̩̺̝̠̩͖̬͋̋͊̊̇̈̉͐͊̿̏͘Ȃ̵͕̲̬̬̘̑͐͝H̸̜͓̳̄̀̒̍́̎̕͠Ǎ̶̩͚̦̑̇̇̅̈̈̽͘͝H̸͕̞̖͕̝̣̹̠̥̾̀̿͊͋̓͊͘͘͜͜Ã̵̧̪̼̤̻̙̠͒͐̔̉͊̊̽̇̇̀͝͝H̶̨͎̯̘̹̰̟̋͐̚͝Ą̸͇̳̣͙̾̍̾͗̍ͅH̴̨̹̭̳͓͎̟̲͐̈́̈́͑̎͜A̷̛̹̱͎̳̺̝͕͇̲͓͚͙̟̋̈́̈́͆͊͊̈̂̄́̒͘͠͠H̴̤̆͛̊̊͌̆̑̾̇̀̎͘͠A̵̤̘̯͚̓̓̑͒͋͊̚̕Ḩ̴͓̖̠̰͓̳̙̤̩̉̂̔͑A̵͉̖̙̰͇̦̞̻̱̫̞̾̈́̆̋̏̉̈̐̆̐͘͝H̸̠̼̮̙̝͙͙̊̃̓͐̈̈ͅȀ̵̢̧̛̻̯̱̠̘̘̘̜̦͈͔̉͐̄̓̆̽̆̿̐̉̽̋̕͜Ḧ̷̖̪̘̣̺́̓̀̆̏̽̌Ȃ̴̡̢̤̹͕̟̺̺̲̖̩̣͔̥̑̈͂̓͐̒̂H̵͎̹͖͙͉͍̲̲̖̤͇̾͗̉̊̇̉̍͑̇̌̓͊̆̕Ă̶̡̗͈̫̲͙̭̫̗̤͓͝ͅH̸̡̨̤͚̘̟̠̜̪̓̌̎̚A̷̡̫̙͖̣̣̯̲̺͔̓̆̓́͛̑H̶͈͇̎̇͑Ä̸̧̡̹̭̲͓̠̮́̀̅̓̑̒̅̽̽̑̔̇̈́͘H̶̡͖̒̆̓͌A̷̖̙͇͎̬̱̜̒̎͗̄̈́̈́H̴̨̛̦͎̖̱̩̺̝̠̩͖̬͋̋͊̊̇̈̉͐͊̿̏͘Ȃ̵͕̲̬̬̘̑͐͝H̸̜͓̳̄̀̒̍́̎̕͠Ǎ̶̩͚̦̑̇̇̅̈̈̽͘͝H̸͕̞̖͕̝̣̹̠̥̾̀̿͊͋̓͊͘͘͜͜Ã̵̧̪̼̤̻̙̠͒͐̔̉͊̊̽̇̇̀͝͝H̶̨͎̯̘̹̰̟̋͐̚͝Ą̸͇̳̣͙̾̍̾͗̍ͅH̴̨̹̭̳͓͎̟̲͐̈́̈́͑̎͜A̷̛̹̱͎̳̺̝͕͇̲͓͚͙̟̋̈́̈́͆͊͊̈̂̄́̒͘͠͠H̴̤̆͛̊̊͌̆̑̾̇̀̎͘͠A̵̤̘̯͚̓̓̑͒͋͊̚̕Ḩ̴͓̖̠̰͓̳̙̤̩̉̂̔͑A̵͉̖̙̰͇̦̞̻̱̫̞̾̈́̆̋̏̉̈̐̆̐͘͝H̸̠̼̮̙̝͙͙̊̃̓͐̈̈ͅȀ̵̢̧̛̻̯̱̠̘̘̘̜̦͈͔̉͐̄̓̆̽̆̿̐̉̽̋̕͜Ḧ̷̖̪̘̣̺́̓̀̆̏̽̌Ȃ̴̡̢̤̹͕̟̺̺̲̖̩̣͔̥̑̈͂̓͐̒̂H̵͎̹͖͙͉͍̲̲̖̤͇̾͗̉̊̇̉̍͑̇̌̓͊̆̕Ă̶̡̗͈̫̲͙̭̫̗̤͓͝ͅH̸̡̨̤͚̘̟̠̜̪̓̌̎̚A̷̡̫̙͖̣̣̯̲̺͔̓̆̓́͛̑H̶͈͇̎̇͑Ä̵̤́̋́̆͗̈̓̏̍̕̚H̸͓̫͓̞͇̯̆̈́̆͌̆͑͂͆̒Ǎ̷̝̯̖̖͇͎̖͇͎̭͐̂̔͗̐H̸͕͒͒͑̃͗̈̋̈́̐̚͝A̴̺̹̪̒

 

 

            Frisk was scared.

 More than scared.

They didn’t know how to express how scared they were.

 

The music sounded like Waterfall, but it had a panicked edge to it. Waterfall had deep holes and of course water falls, Frisk just needed to fall down one of those then they can reset. They heard rushing water and Frisk turned towards it. They needed to fight for every step, like their feet were stuck, or someone was trying to force them to stay.

 

            It took forever.

When they fell into the fast moving water it was a relief.

 

Frisk reset. Everything went as normal. Then Toriel left them alone.

 

The Twisted Voice came back.

A Froggit died. Dust was everywhere. But they couldn’t get it to stop they couldn’t get control.

 

Frisk didn’t understand what was happening. It took ages to get control. They gained control after Toriel died and loaded a save just for the same to happen. They gained control and reset that time.

 

 

 

Fighting it became near impossible.

 

 

 

 

           Frisk spent more time out of control of their own body. Nothing made sense. Frisk could do nothing but watch, hardly able to so more than distract the thing using them and jerk themselves slightly.

 

            Frisk was able to piece some things together while trapped.. The ghost of the First human was inside them, and Frisk had to fight for and to hold control. Frisk knew that Chara hated humans, but didn’t know that they hated monsters too.

 

 

 It didn’t make sense that they would.

 

 

The battle for control over Frisk's body was fast becoming more equal, Chara seemed bored at first, killing Frisks friends at random at first, then Chara seemed to have some sort of plan. Frisk hoped that they will soon master having control over their body because Chara was ruthless. Frisk needed to save their friends from them, or well what’s left of them as time went on in these runs, but they could reset to save them. Chara took over but now they can fight back more now that they learned how to.

 

For now being able to sabotage Chara have to be both a victory and enough. It has to be enough compared to what happened before- ** _what_** was still **_happening_**. Frisk closed their eyes against the stuffy space they were trapped in, as they tried to grasp their way to the surface..

 

            _...dust so much dust, on the floor, floating in the air thick they choke on it, it burns their eyes their nose their ears and walking only kicked up more..._

_...Toriel's look of heartbroken understanding as the knife swung down..._

_Sans being more violent and terrifying in the forest as **They** left trails of dust behind_

_...Chilldrake searching for their dusted friend, not even realizing he was mixed in the dust that was on their clothes..._

_The sound of the forest was the same but wrong_

_...Doggo didn't stand even a chance due to his motion based sight and with how still they could be..._

_The snowman that wat taken apart_

_...Dogamy's heartbroken howl..._

_...Dogaressa's fury..._

_...As the other was dusted in front of them..._

_The empty town_

_...Papyrus' cape and armour lying in the snow as dust poured out blended into the snow..._

_Stop **it** stop_doing _thisstopwhy **wont** you **stop** stopstoppleasestop **whyareyoudoingthis** stop **stopstop**_ sto _p **it**_

_..._ _and Frisk couldn’t do a thing to make it **STOP**_

****

****

All the dust made Frisk choke and burn their face and they wanted to scream and never stop. But it wouldn’t because Frisk wasn’t in control, and they weren’t able to scream even if they could.

 

 

What's worse is Sans, his smile becoming more forced and seeing him less and less in the aftermath of Chara having control as resets went on, Frisk mourned. It's for the best, they knew, to try and not be attached in case they needed to put an end to Chara's reign of terror when Frisk failed.

 

Because Sans also knew that Frisk was Trapped inside their own body screaming at Chara's every evil act, He must know that!, and Sans couldn't try to stop it without exposing that he was affected by the time-loops as well somehow and becoming a target for Chara. That must be it; it explained why some things he did were different in some runs, Right?

 

            Over time keeping Frisk found keeping their memories linear and separating nightmares from real became difficult over time as Frisk and Chara fought each other and Chara won. But Frisk a few things for certain. They knew they never succeeded in killing Sans in any of the resets thus far, either wrestling control away from Chara before then or frustrating Chara till they reset out of rage.

 

 That and Chara seemed miffed that they hadn’t yet.

 

Something about him being the _last_ one, even if they are  sure that monsters were still at the top of the elevator in the resort.

 

            Frisk was doing their best against them. Frisk didn't think their best was worth all that much if it almost resulted in total genocide but they kept trying.

They sabotaged Chara as much as they could. Forcing their body to stand still, move the wrong way. Even if it meant just another load. Sometimes they forced their body off a bridge if they were lucky and reset. The fight against Sans was made harder, just able to make them stay still just a second too long, Chara ended up resetting out of rage after long enough and Frisk got a break.

 

            They even forced them to spare when Sans offered a hug and Chara pretended to think about it.

 

…just to get Dunked On.

 

 

It happened more than once.

 

As a matter of fact…

Chara seemed to have forgotten Frisks favorite sabotage, as they toyed with the spare button.

 

            _Whoopsy,_

_ You didn’t mean to do that did you Chara? _

Frisk laughed as Chara raged and went back to fight against Sans just to lose so many times without Frisks help at all. Frisk fought for control as Chara was enraged, being brash and out of control attacking Sans with no plan or thought.

_Chara’s control was slipping they had to get control, Chara was planning something bad, Frisk must to stop them!_

 

 

Then suddenly it wasn’t Frisk watching Chara.

 

Frisk was facing Sans.

 

 

            They made frantic gestures, trying to convey that it was them, not Chara that was in control. They dodged near frantically trying to avoid being hit, till they were.

 

            Frisk didn’t know what it was that got through to Sans. But he understood somehow.

 

            Sans mentioned that they have different colored eyes when they were in control. Chara had red eyes the color of determination, while Frisk had their usual amber-brown eyes. Sans also mentioned other differences. How Frisk would speak or laugh a little on occasion but was quiet while Chara wouldn't make a sound, unless it was some awful loud laugh. And… Something about love? Or was it a different kind of love that Sans was talking about?

 

            Frisk was able to spare Sans, end the fight. Chara screeched as their plan was somehow ruined. They think it has something to do with not people able to fight certain people twice. They didn’t know how that worked or what the plan was but they were happy that they stopped it.

 

But they had to fix this still.

 

And Sans was probably not going to like how it would be fixed.

 

            Frisk had urged Sans to check the door opposite of where they came in, before tossing away their bag and phone a small ways away.

 

 No more healing items for them.

 

 

Sans uncharacteristically had walked over to the door, probably tired and magically drained from their earlier battle. It was a long fight.

 

            Frisk had to hurry. Before Chara was in control again. They can feel them itching for a fight even if they had acted like it was over before.

 

 Frisk had made sure Sans back was turned before gripping the blade with both of their hands, lining up the tip below their ribs. They took a deep breath and breathed it out.

Frisk jerked the knife up and in letting out a soundless gasp.

Tears welled up in Frisks wide open eyes and their lips trembled and they couldn't do more than take shallow breaths, watching as wet and determination red spilled out over their shaking fingers.

 

 

            The pain was……

 

 

            …

 

 

Indescribable.

 

_Buttheyweren’tdyingyet!theycouldn’tresetyet!theyneedtoreset!theyneedtofixthis!_

            They dug the blade in further and twisted ‘n wiggled it in different ways and it made themselves fall to their knees with a thump and a soundless gasp as it _burned_ and Frisk heard Sans call out and shuffling before it stopped.

 

It was quiet for a long moment when they were caught.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The red kept running out and spilled over Frisks hands in long lines, taking the caked on dust with it.

 

Liquid red dripped off the end of the handle and their wrists, it itched at their skin nearly as much as the dust did.

 

Pitter-patters on the rug turned into drip-drops and Frisk’s breaths stayed gaspy and uneven and Sans stayed silent.

 

 

 

Then came the familiar prickles of Sans teleport.

            “kid! what the **h e l l** !” Sans shouted suddenly from right where Frisk had tossed their ( _no-not theirs_ ) the trespassers _stolen_ belongings, his hands were with _green_ magic at the ready, even it if just barely colored his fingers.

           

Sans could do green magic? That surprised Frisk.

 

            “I-It's thee-the on-ly way” Frisk stuttered out painfully. They hurt so much and tears were collecting in their eyes.

_Nononono they need to reset, they need too, they can’t do that if they don’t die. No healing. No healing, they need to reset._ “I haven't f-f-f-found an-nother way to r-e-eset, and **Chara** will get control if I just load.” Frisk couldn't help but growl out the other's name and dig the blade in at the same moment and Chara _screeched_ through Frisks mind, seemingly resigned to Frisk's victory this timeline and stopped fighting Frisk for control. “I-ah, cahn’t go ba-ack to dhe lasst sahve’ anyway, not-thing else ‘ill work te reset.”

 

 “I-I'm figh-hiting them Sans I prom-ise. I'm doing wha’ I can jus’ like you’re doin’ what you can.” Frisk gasp wetly as their voice broke.

 

They swallowed to feel the burn of snot falling down the back of their throat.

 

When did they start to cry?

 

            Frisk chanced a glance at Sans, to see shut sockets and light blue tear trails. “kid.” his hands were curled into fists and shaking, fake smile more of a grimace. Sans head was turned down so Frisk couldn't see much more. They pulled on the knife slowly as if it made it hurt less, Frisk doesn’t really think it did, hissing as it got to be too much, and added it to the pile near Sans. Sockets opened and followed the movement, but the eye-lights weren't there.

 

Frisk didn’t like any of this either.

 

            “I-I prom-mise, I won't stop figh’in’, I won't let ‘hem win,” they tried to make eye contact but Sans wouldn't look at them. “I mean id. I'll make sure everyone will get out of ‘ere, just-just. You need to stay Pa-Patient and Determine’. We – WE can get out of here. I promise we all are gettin’ ou’ of here.”

 

            Frisk felt more then heard the tune in their head, loud and in full swing, apparently there for a while but they didn't notice earlier if they had to guess; Like the music playing when heroes make their speeches in Alphys’ animes. Their unseen friend and guiding hand liked what they had to say apparently, which meant to Frisk that they were on the right track.

           

            Sans stayed still even as light blue tears ran down, fists shaking with how hard they were clenched. Frisk could see his mouth open and shut like he didn’t know what to say. There really wasn’t was there? It’s not like there’s much anyone could do.

 

Frisk remembered about something slightly important, even as Chara was near silent and they were hurting and felt faint. “C-Could you take my stuff away? I-in case they get control-”

 

            A flash of blue and the bag and knife gone.

 

He stayed, to their surprise.

They must have looked it too.

 

            “what? you thought i would leave you alone?” he sat down looking sad and drowsy, more so than before, legs brought up with his arms over the back of them and his head resting on top. Lines dyed light blue could been seen on what wasn’t nuzzled into Papyrus’ scarf/cape.

 

            The quiet was unbearable.

Where did the music go? They need it now.

 

            “I-I'm so-rry, Sans, for every-thing.”

            “it's okay.”

 

            Frisk is starting to think Sans is as bad a liar as his brother, because it wasn’t. Nothing about this was okay.

 

The thought of the just brothers alone made Frisk want to cry more. As things became fuzzy and blurry and Frisk decided to lay down in the growing pond of red on the floor. They didn’t care as the wet cold came in though their clothes, it would be gone soon anyway. Eventually Sans was closer, but sitting the same as before, slowly getting closer still till one of his hands, slightly warm, holding one of theirs.

 

He gave a small squeeze and Frisk did the same back.

What a meaningful conversation.

 

But it felt weak when Frisk did it and they didn’t dare squeeze harder than that, not wanting to risk it.

 

 The silent conversation made Frisk happy and they smiled even as the approaching gray closed in, and everything went cold and numb, then it shaded to black.

 

“we’re gonna be okay kiddo.”

 

            Maybe it would be okay, after all

 

 

 

            Frisk took a deep breath and centered themselves when they appeared in the well-known dark space. They felt like their emotions were all over the place. And Chara was just barely there, like a hidden face in the mirror, waiting. Frisk was stronger than them, they had to be. They needed to be strong.

 

 

 

            The thought of breaking the Barrier…

showing their friends the sun…

 

            **It filled them with Determination**

****

****

 

Having to kill themself as soon as they won control of their own body once, often in awful and creative ways to turn time back, was tiring. But it was no less than they deserved for losing control over their body, to someone who was **dead** no less, so they dealt with the feeling.

Sans looked concerned after some of those aborted runs… or was it confusion? They aren’t sure if Sans knew all along what was going on now that they weren’t so scared to think about it. They don’t actually know if Sans knows as much as Frisk thinks he does.

 

 

            …What is this feeling that they have? It is horrible.

…

Frisk was getting off track.

 

They calmed themself of the confusing feelings willing them and thoughts away, and blinked away the memories of dust and fear and sad and guilt to pull up the feelings and memories that would be more useful for Frisk, of _Friendship_ and _Promises_ and why they were _Determined_ to do this no matter how hard and breathed as deeply as they could when two very familiar buttons came up.

 

 

 

**< _RESET_ >                                                      <LOAD>**

            ' _No matter what it takes.'_ Frisk squared their shoulders and stared the buttons down. They will do this. They had the power, they can make this happen.

 

**< RESET>**

**< _YES_ >                                                                   <NO>**

            ' _Everyone will get their happy ending.'_ Frisk held their breath, grit their teeth as they held on to the feelings that they have. They _PROMISED_.

**< _YES_ >**

 

…

 

…

 

 

            Frisk woke up in soft flowers, in a dark cave with sunlight coming in from the hole they fell down in. They breathed carefully as they ached from the fall…or was it from the battle they had before?

 

**_THEY WILL WIN_ **

Not waiting for stars to fade from their vision Frisk went into the ruins as fast as they could despite the colored splotches and found Flowey, soon afterwards Toriel found them. Like so many times before, and made way out of the ruins fighting Chara every step of the way, but not before shattering the toy knife while on their way.

 

 

Just to be safe.

****

**THEY ARE DETERMINED**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had some trouble making the chapter make sense from the perspective of an elementary student and also somewhat disjointed at the same time.  
> Frisk and Chara are fighting over who's in control, person in control when they die decides if they load or reset, and Frisk is control when they reset because they were in control when they first fell.  
> Sans doesn't know much of what's going on, just what he's been able to make notes of and basically a highlight reel of each run at the start of a load/reset and what pops up in nightmares.


	3. Scrabbling Out (Need Help? Grab my Hand)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frisk trys to find help with freeing the monsters. Eventually they find it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took a little while to finish this. Bribing my brain with coffee and donuts didn't work and threatening it with hot sauce backfire. (hot sauce & mashed potatoes is great BTW) I think this one is longer than the other ones.
> 
> TW for suicide implied; blood and self harm but not much; threatening self harm in one instance; some of it is should seem a little disjointed because Frisk is disassociating a bit, not sure how well that came through but warning just in case.

Frisk doesn’t know how long they had been staring up at the light beaming down.

 

They can’t.

 

They can’t do it.

 

Twice now they’ve tried.

 

 

            Twice now Asriel has reset, with Frisk barely able to hold on with raw determination enough scraps of memories to know what’s going on. Frisk thinks Sans might remember too. They aren’t sure, but that convenient-lamp is Frisk’s exact shape.

 

…

 

 

            But hasn’t that lamp always been there? – It must have been. They don’t remember it not being there.

 

…

 

            Now Frisk understands why Sans seems… like he’s stuck and with no way out. It’s because there isn’t one.

 

            They’ve tried and tried and everyone is still down here. Sans must have been trying the same or something close to it.

 

 

 

This was hopeless.

 

…

 

 

            Frisk knows better than to give up. But they can’t do this alone.

 

            They plucked yellow petals off of yellow flowers. If Frisk was pretending it was the goat-turned-flower it was nobody’s business _._ Frisk balled up the petals in their fingers before flicking them away. They eventually did the same with the stem.

 

            This was a certainly nice flower _bed_. Chara better not mind them using it because they used Frisk’s body without asking _first_.

 

            Frisk used the time to think quietly. Chara was blocked out of their mind somehow, Frisk isn’t really sure how they did it. Maybe because right now Frisk doesn’t feel much of anything. They reset when Flowey or Toriel got too close. They want to be _alone_.

 

 Or maybe…

 

Alone was the key word here. Frisk was doing this pretty much all alone, trying to be the hero…

 

…

 

…Didn’t all heroes have someone backing them up? Like an Alfred or Robin to Batman? Or maybe Frisk was Robin and someone else needed to do the heavy stuff.

 

 

……

 

            Well Frisk knows about part of the problem. Sans know part of it too, or at least he knows something. Frisk will have to as when they see him next.

 

This can work.

…

Can’t it?

 

 

* * *

 

 

“aww… i’m sorry kiddo, but i can’t” Sans was still grinning but it wasn’t as smiley as before.

 

            Frisk should of known better. Odds are he has been dealing with this longer than they have, and if Frisk feels like giving up now, Sans probably already has. Sans might think that he can’t do anything to help, so he won’t so it won’t be worse. Frisk felt some bitter feeling bubble up and tears build; but one glance at Sans, eye-lights looking away and guilty and kind of sad…It’s kind of impressive when he’s almost always smiling. But Frisk can’t seem remember a time when he wasn’t……!?  Oh nonononono, Frisk didn’t mean to make him feel bad, they were just asking!

 

            Frisk made their best apologetic look, eye brows brought together and downward and mouth in a slight frown before snapping their fingers. Once Sans looked at Frisk they brought their fist up to their chest and drew a tight circle with the knuckle of their first finger. _‘Sorry.’_

Then Frisk relaxed their face, brought up a slight smile. They locked their elbow in place by their side and brought their fingertips to their chin and thumb pointed out before moving their hand away, almost like blowing a kiss but not. _‘Thank you.’_  At least Sans was honest. Frisk is just happy that Sans told them the truth. Frisk rather know now that he wouldn’t help instead of saying he would and not do anything.

 

Frisk’s fosters had done that so many times. At least Sans doesn’t get mad at Frisk for asking like they did.

 

“…Kid?” Sans looked confused and worried. Frisk doesn’t know how to fix it but they couldn’t stay here anymore. Their hands fumbled together as they looked off where Papyrus went into the forest.

“yeah your right. you might need to get outta here before you hav’ta hear more of my hilarious jokes.” At least Sans was smiling again. They gave a look with a grin, like they were tempted to stay. “what you’re looking to be my willing captive audience?” he said with a snerk. “sorry I don’t think I can do that to ya, bud.”

He looked less sad now.

            Good.

 

They headed towards the forest and stopped expectantly when they were just about to leave Sans station and looked back. “don’t worry kiddo, I’ll keep an eye socket out for ya.” And left in the opposite direction.

Frisk looked down at their hands. They were shaking, and drops of water were falling on them. Frisk was becoming aware that they were breathing faster and faster and their face was wet. They ran for the save star up ahead. As always they didn’t run into anyone on the way, and made their save. They let their knees give out and buried their face in their legs. Frisk let themself cry.

 

 

They don’t know what to do.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Frisk didn’t know what else to do but to go forward. So far everything in Snowdin Forest went the same. Sounded the same.

 

“hey buddy” Well mostly the same. Sans was different from normal. Every time they saw him he was asking how they were doing on top of what he usually did. Even gave Frisk monster candy when they were hurt. “how ya doin’?” It made Frisk feel nice, which they needed. They offered a smile and nod.

They were at the multicolored puzzle and made Papyrus confused instead of activating the puzzle, it seemed nicer than having him activate the puzzle and get disappointed by it. “thought so, that spaghetti earlier was pretty good for my brothers standards. since he started his cooking lessons he’s improved a lot.” Sans looks off to the side. “if he keeps this up, i bet by next year he’ll make something edible.” Frisk giggled. It was a little funny the way he said it. “hey,” Frisk jumped. “i don’t think he’ll do anything to hurt ya but you should take some more candy just in case.” If Frisk didn’t know Sans so well they would be worried by this.

 

They signed Thank You and held their hands out cupped together.

Frisk got enough candy to fill their inventory to the brim and a hand ruffling their hair.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Frisk was aware of Chara speaking. They ignored them. They treated everything the same when they tried to free everyone, for lack of a better plan. Frisk wouldn’t hurt anyone. Never.

 

**We were a team!**

_No, Chara._

**We were going to WIN! They were going to SUFFER!**

Frisk ignored them for as long as they could.

 

**KILLTHEMKILLTHEMKILLTHEM**

**THEY MUST PAY**

Frisk acted like nothing was wrong. When Sans asked they said they were okay. They didn’t ask for anything. They hung out with Papyrus just to take their mind off things.

 

* * *

 

 

Chara was getting on Frisk’s last nerve.

They left Snowdin, going to Waterfall, when Frisk had enough.

 

**WHY WOULD YOU RESET WE WERE A TEAM!**

They have had enough. Frisk slammed their head against the cave wall once, as hard as they can.

            _NO! NO! WE NEVER WERE. YOU DECIDED THAT. I NEVER WANTED TO HURT ANYONE AND YOU MADE ME!_

They hit their head one the wall a second time without thinking. Red was running down their face, staining their clothes and they didn’t care. They were…Mad, angry, furious none of them really described how ANGRY they were.

Frisks rage was indescribable.

Chara needed to shut up.

            N.O.W.

 

            **THEY NEED TO-**

            _Never again, never again! You had your chance, You chose to die. This is my life, you can’t have it! I get to choose what I want to do not you!_

The final hit to their head made stars light up in their eyes and made Frisk feel sick.

 

            Chara stayed quiet. It was a relief.

 

Their lies made Frisk mad. They never worked together, Frisk never wanted what they wanted.

How dare _they_.

            Frisk touched the side they smacked into the wall repeatedly. It stung and their fingers came away bright red. A look at the crack-y, sharpish wall showed more red on the dark rock. Frisk felt satisfied.

 

Frisk forgot Sans had a station at the start. Soon Frisk was back in Snowdin and they had to put up with the fuss made by the skeleton brothers. Their head was patched up and was put in borrowed clothes while theirs were washed.

 

They refused to explain when asked.

            Sans was obviously worried. He kept wringing his hands.

Frisk wanted to do something, explain, but he wasn’t able to help. Frisk needed to get away, once their clothes were clean.

 

* * *

 

 

Eventually Frisk was alone again, in a field of echo flowers. Thinking.

 

            To think about how Frisk can’t think of anyone else to help. They think Alphys would be too nervous to help. Asgore wouldn’t be able to either. Flowey will kill him if they get close. The thought made both them and Chara whine. _Odd._ Undyne doesn’t really seem the sort, plus she would have to deal with her house on fire after they become friends.

 

Toriel doesn’t want them she said not to come back. She wouldn’t help them. She just likes the idea of being a mom again, to a kid that would obey her without question.

            Frisk will never go back to a family like that.

The skeleton brothers would be an awesome family to be in. If they manage to free everyone Frisk hopes that they might want to adopt them?

 

            Frisk is getting off track.

 

            Seven humans made the barrier. They used their souls to do it Frisk thinks, but Frisk doesn’t know how to summon their soul on their own, so does that they were some sort of magic human? Doesn’t really matter what their called, just as long as they know how to fix this. How to help.

 

            Frisks Friend/guide is acting up. Some sort of music is playing like they had some sort of break through and is gently tugging frisk towards Asgore, to the surface. Frisk doesn’t know why.

 

            Frisk was thinking about magic humans. Maybe Frisk can find one? Get them to help Frisk? Maybe the souls we just to power it, but you don’t need as many to undo it?

 

But then Frisk would need to fight Asgore. Asgore will die because of them.

 

**_They don’t want too_ **

 

Frisk doesn’t have any other choice. Chara keeps whineing. Frisk picked up a rather big rock and then their own foot.

Chara decides to keep quiet.

Frisk puts the rock down.

 

            They have a plan. They don’t like it but it’s the best they got. The only one they got.

 

* * *

 

 

Flowey killed Asgore again. It makes a part of Frisk mad, and sad too. They had to fight Flowey again. Frisk was mad at how predictable it all was. Fighting Flowey was easier every time. They knew to be extra ready to dodge when he saved, and Frisk was always getting better at paying attention all around them for attacks.

The souls rebelled against Flowey. He lost again, but the monsters were still trapped.  That was okay because Frisk was hoping to find someone that could help.

 

Now just Flowey was blocking the way, though he was damaged and hunched over. Frisk was given the option to either attack or to spare, as if it was really a choice for them.

 

They chose Mercy. Like they always have.

 

“… what are you doing?” Flowey glanced over at them from where he was his face was mostly shadowed still. Frisk didn’t do or say anything. Chara wasn’t happy though. “Do you really think I’ve learned anything from this?” neither Frisk or Chara think he did, they know he hasn’t. “No.”

 

Still Frisk chose Mercy.

 

“Sparing me won’t change anything.” Maybe not for him but it changes things for Frisk. Flowey turned more towards Frisk, They stayed still not saying anything to Chara’s dislike. “killing me is the only way to end this.”

 

Still Frisk chose Mercy.

 

Flowey pulled himself upright, and glared at them with the fury only a soulless sentient flower could. His voice is full of rage and pain. “If you let me live…” Frisk knows it’s all an act, Flowey can’t hurt them anymore so there is no point. “I’ll come back.” He won’t. He doesn’t have a soul, at least not one anyone can see, he doesn’t know what to do in the face of unconditional kindness.

 

Still Frisk chose Mercy.

 

“I’ll kill you.” Frisk is too stubborn to die. It’s surprising how stubborn they really are.

 

Frisk chose Mercy.

 

Flowey’s eyes are wide open, enough to see that his right eye is bruised underneath. He looks crazy. “I’ll kill everyone.” Frisk can just load a save, they have been in control this entire run despite Chara. They have nothing to fear from loading.

 

                        Frisk chose Mercy.

 

            Flowey’s smile is wide open, showing jagged teeth that Frisk isn’t entirely sure are real. “I’ll kill everyone you love.” Frisk is sure they can just load a save if they have too. That and the skeleton brothers and Alphys and Mettaton are able to defend themselves. If not they have Undyne.

 

                        Frisk chose Mercy.

 

            Flowey stopped with threats and he looked at them, Confused. “…”

 

                        Frisk chose Mercy.

 

            “…why?” Flowey and Chara echoed the same question. _Because, Revenge and Violence never solves anything._

 

                        Frisk chose Mercy.

 

            Flowey looks upset, confused and angry that he’s confused. “…why are you being…” Chara was just as confused. “…so nice to me?” **to him?**   ‘ _Because someone has to be. Because it’s not for him.’_

 

                        Frisk chose Mercy.

 

           “I can’t understand.” Flowey was getting more upset. ‘ _He doesn’t have to.’_ Frisk thinks. _‘ but you should Chara, since we might be together for a while longer.’_

 

                        Frisk chose Mercy.

 

            “I can’t understand!” Flowey had no anger with him this time. _‘I choose Mercy for me, because I have integrity and because I know I won't forgive myself for it. I won’t just kill someone because I’m mad at them.’_

 

                        They chose Mercy.

 

            “I just can’t understand…” Flowey wailed, there was what looked to be tears on his face.

 

                        Flowey Ran Away.

 

            And wasn’t that sad, that Flowey couldn’t understand that people don’t want to kill someone just because they’re mad at them, because they hurt them? It must be because he’s soulless. Chara agrees.

 

            Frisk looks at the exit, and now the tears build. They don’t want to just leave the monsters like this. **I can’t leave. I know you don’t want me here. I’m sorry.** Frisk patted their chest, over where their soul is, before curling it into a fist. Tears were now running down their face. Frisk just needs to find someone that can help. That’s all.

            Frisk looked back. They think maybe they could see Sans hiding in the shadows. They don’t know. Frisk just wants to find someone to help so they won’t be alone anymore.

 

                        Frisk left the Underground.

 

            They ran as hard as they could. They didn’t care for the sun even after so long. Or the sight of the horizon filled with nothing but hills and trees. They ran down the mountain, now feeling a pull that hasn't been there since waterfall that they followed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Frisk ran through bushes and tree limbs that clawed and scratched, uncaring as they followed the pulling sensation to the end of its trail. They were desperate. They ran and ran and ran to where the pulling sensation was leading them. They couldn’t breathe. Frisk couldn’t breathe.

 

            They just didn’t want to be alone in this anymore.

 

            When they rushed into a more open space the pull suddenly left and left a space that made them feel more breathless than before, but that didn’t matter.

            “Frisk?” They remembered them, the ice blue eyes and short copper hair. They met together in a group after school; they gave Frisk homemade cookies and smiles and hugs that didn’t end till Frisk pulled away no matter how long. “Frisk? What are you-where have you been? Everyone has been looking for you.”

 

            Frisk ran, and pressed their face into the taller’s chest and sobbed tears that stained the jacket the other was wearing. They could breathe better now. “Frisk?” Arms were wrapped around Frisk. “It’s okay Frisk.” They felt themselves unable to stop, stop crying and stop breathing so fast that it didn’t feel like they breathed at all, and unable to focus on what taller was saying.

 

            An arm was taken away and they cried louder but then a stone was being pressed into Frisk’s hands and they felt …calmer? They looked and Frisk saw that the stone was carved with some sort of symbols on it. “There, little better now?” The symbols were glowing; it had to be magic but… how? The taller kept the arm wrapped around Frisk, the other was on Frisks arm and they bent over slightly to be eye level with Frisk. “Now then,” Their voice was gentle, but sounded important. “Could you tell me where you’ve been? And why are you covered in really old magic?”

 

            Frisk knew what they were talking about, and it brought new tears to their eyes. The taller hushed them and wrapped both arms around Frisk. “Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me now if you can’t. But… Your foster family, do you feel safe with them? About this?” Frisk shook their head. “Do you want to go with me? I have someplace safe, till my sister and grandparents sort this out.” Frisk nodded.

 

           They told Frisk to wait, and did something to the roots of a tree that had flowers freshly planted and what looked like ribbons. They took a second carved stone out from their bag and placed it leaning on the tree before nodding their head and closing their eyes. Frisk watched as the second stone seemed to glow and feeling of peace seemed to spread over the area, The other got up and they held Frisks empty hand and let them keep the carved stone, and led them down the mountain, going back in the direction that Frisk ran but headed in a downwards direction. After a while they could see the setting sun again.

 

            They pointed to the right of the sun, at some tree filled hills. “There’s a bunch of buildings there, we can’t see them yet till we get a lot closer.” They started walking again. Frisk didn’t remember seeing any buildings from the top of the mountain. Frisk held their hand tighter, they squeezed back. “Don’t worry, I won’t let go.”

 

            Good.

Because Frisk doesn’t think they could let go if they tried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to make it clear but just in case italics is Frisk thinking and underlined means emphasis, bold is Chara 'talking'. bold italics means that both Chara and Frisk are thinking the same thing.
> 
> Didn't use the corrupted text for Chara this time because Frisk understands what Chara is 'saying' better.  
> I'll update this for what need clarification in the comments.

**Author's Note:**

> Loved playing Undertale, but felt that the final pacifist battle was too easy considering, and that the history and surface could use some more fleshing out, so I decided to do two in one and add in some head cannons. The magic bit is done more in the next story after I finish this one.
> 
> There isn't much room for some head cannons that I have been adding but the Esc/Quiting=Dying is one of them just based on how the Load/Reset mechanic works in-game. a second is that the player is as much their own character and decided to add them in as their two own entities, one for the player that chooses pacifist and the other for genocide. Chara is/isn't the entity at the same time for reasons that won't be reveal in this story.
> 
> Please leave a review! advice is welcomed!


End file.
